What we learn from our siblings when we grow up has – for better or for worse – a considerable influence on our social and emotional development as adults, according to an expert in sibling, parent-child and peer relationships at the University of Illinois. Laurie Kramer, a professor of applied family studies in the department of human and community development at Illinois, says that although a parent’s influence on a child’s development shouldn’t be underestimated, neither should a sibling’s. “What we learn from our parents may overlap quite a bit with what we learn from our siblings, but there may be some areas in which they differ significantly,” Kramer said.

Parents are better at teaching the social niceties of more formal settings – how to act in public, how not to embarrass oneself at the dinner table, for example. But siblings are better role models of the more informal behaviors – how to act at school or on the street, or, most important, how to act cool around friends – that constitute the bulk of a child’s everyday experiences. “Siblings are closer to the social environments that children find themselves in during the majority of their day, which is why it’s important not to overlook the contributions that they make on who we end up being,” Kramer said.

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