Just change your ratio of these three kinds of statements - it works like magic
- "All he ever talks about is himself—what he's doing, what he's interested in, what his ideas are."
- “She constantly lectures me. She never asks what I think.”
- "There's no disagreeing with him. I just let him expound, and then I just try to change the subject."
- “She has an opinion about everything, and she’ll give it to you—whether you ask for it or not.”
The secret to being a good conversationalist - one whom people enjoy talking with, and whose company they seek - is very simple: It's talking with them, not to them or at them.
It works like magic.
William James, a pioneer in the development of psychology, advised, “The deepest craving in every human being is the desire to be appreciated.” Yet, too many people are too busy appreciating themselves in conversation to notice or appreciate others.
Whether we like it or not, most people react to more than just the words we say. They respond to certain subtle features of our statements, and to the degree of respect, appreciation, and generosity we convey in the way we speak.